Twisted Stix fixes all that. Instead of two 4½ oz. stuffed sandwiches, you get five 2 oz. stuffed breadsticks. There's nothing complicated about them. Even three at once take less time than one regular Hot Pocket, and they're just as satisfying. Two of these, and a can of Coke, and you've got your four essential Geek Nutrients: salt, fat, sugar, and caffeine.
Sometimes you just "need" a quick snack, and microwaveables are great when you don't want something cold. As frozen foods go, Hot Pockets aren't bad, but they're not as convenient as, say, a microwave burrito, since you have to fuss with a crisping sleeve. They also take two minutes to cook, and if you don't let them cool down enough before eating, you could burn yourself.